So, I'm sure you've noticed that I missed out on last week's Think About It Thursday, and that's kind of sad, considering it's the segment that I truly enjoy writing.
Last week was pretty hectic for me and I ended up missing out on a bunch of days.
When I got home, I was dead-tired, but I had plans to meet with the boyfriend so I asked my sister to wake me up. Plans didn't come through and I found myself awake doing nothing for the day. Was able to sneak in a few posts, but wasn't able to write my Monday Musing (sad face).
Wednesday, we finally met up, but still didn't get enough sleep.
Thursday, I met up with my friend Alia because one of our favorite bars would be closing soon and we wanted to hang out over there at least one last time. Good times ensued and I came home at around 10 or 11ish (I don't know because I was) drunk and slept like a baby. So, no, wasn't able to think about much of anything, although if you ask my mom, I'm pretty sure I was spewing creativity all night.
Friday was strange. I had to see Alia again, and my friend Thorr and I got lost in the backroads of Ortigas-Shaw for about an hour before finally ending up in Mandaluyong. I spilled coke on my shorts (yay) and had to walk from the southbound side of EDSA Boni to Go Hotels on the other side, so I was too tired to think when I finally made it home. So no, wasn't able to write anything then either.
It's all making me a little sad. I guess it's because 1) I haven't been getting too much sleep, and when I switched jobs, I realized just how much sleep deprivation affected me. Most of my sadness and anxiety came from being under so much stress and not getting as much sleep as I was supposed to, and I'm experiencing a lot of those same feelings now that I've been staying up so much. TL;DR: Lola vibes. Also, 2) it's sad to think that it's (still) almost impossible to juggle spending time with my friends and having time for myself and my writing. I've always put my writing on the backburner, and when I started Endophora, I told myself that that wouldn't happen anymore, but here it is again, happening.
A few years ago, when my hedgehog died, I wrote a letter trying to make sense of everything I felt -- the sadness, and the regret (or lack thereof). I wonder if I felt this way then too -- if somewhere down the road, I had felt that maybe I wasn't prioritizing correctly, but ignored the feeling and went along my merry way. It's something I'm wont to do. I wouldn't be surprised if I had.
But hey. A commitment is a commitment.
There's so much I want to do with my life, haha. I have so many plans and so many things to see and stories to write. And if I want to get anywhere in life, I'm going to have to man up and just start getting things done.
To that effect, I've posted a new Word of the Week, and a new piece of fiction called "Double or Nothing" in the Musings section of Endophora. Enjoy!